I’m sitting in the van, buckled in, ready to
go. Things are piled up so high in the back
that I worry about our heads getting chopped
off if there is an accident.
Ok – so we’re ready to leave for the show.
Coffee in drink holder, quick check on gas
gauge, change ready for tolls.
My partner asks:
Did you remember the cash box?
Yep!
Credit card machine?
Yep!
Supply bag?
Yep!
Directions?
Uh…no…be right back!
So I get out of the van, unlock the door,
run upstairs, grab the directions off the
desk, run back down, lock the door, jump
back into the van.
Now we’re ready. Start the van.
Partner pauses:
I gotta go to the bathroom
Why didn’t you go earlier?
I didn’t need to go earlier. Coffee worked
fast this morning.
He gets out of the van, unlocks the door,
runs upstairs, does what he needs to do,
runs back down, locks the door, jumps
back in the van.
Now we are really ready to go.
He drives, I’m in charge of the directions.
90 miles later, he wakes me. Unfortunately,
his entertaining personality couldn’t keep
me awake during the long drive.
You gotta stay up now. We just got off the
turnpike and you need to read those
directions. Do I go north or south on this
highway?
I don’t know! Let me look at the actual map.
Hurry up. The damn turn is right here!
It’s too late, we passed it.
You should have looked at those directions
before we left the house.
You’re the one that’s driving bub!
He grabs the directions, says he’ll be in
charge his damn self from now on.
So we get our bearings, turn around, backtrack.
You need to pay attention now. We will be
making a right turn onto Maple Street in a
quarter of a mile.
2 miles later:
We’re you looking? Did we pass it? You weren’t
paying attention, where you?
Of course I was! There was no Maple Street.
Oh for Pete’s sake! Google sucks! Next time
use Yahoo maps, will ya?
After a few more miles, we turn around. I am
able to convince him to admit defeat and stop
at the Dunkin Donuts to ask directions. The
people running the place don’t understand
much English. I decide I could use another
cup of coffee. They seem to understand “cream
and sugar” perfectly, but directions…forget it!
go. Things are piled up so high in the back
that I worry about our heads getting chopped
off if there is an accident.
Ok – so we’re ready to leave for the show.
Coffee in drink holder, quick check on gas
gauge, change ready for tolls.
My partner asks:
Did you remember the cash box?
Yep!
Credit card machine?
Yep!
Supply bag?
Yep!
Directions?
Uh…no…be right back!
So I get out of the van, unlock the door,
run upstairs, grab the directions off the
desk, run back down, lock the door, jump
back into the van.
Now we’re ready. Start the van.
Partner pauses:
I gotta go to the bathroom
Why didn’t you go earlier?
I didn’t need to go earlier. Coffee worked
fast this morning.
He gets out of the van, unlocks the door,
runs upstairs, does what he needs to do,
runs back down, locks the door, jumps
back in the van.
Now we are really ready to go.
He drives, I’m in charge of the directions.
90 miles later, he wakes me. Unfortunately,
his entertaining personality couldn’t keep
me awake during the long drive.
You gotta stay up now. We just got off the
turnpike and you need to read those
directions. Do I go north or south on this
highway?
I don’t know! Let me look at the actual map.
Hurry up. The damn turn is right here!
It’s too late, we passed it.
You should have looked at those directions
before we left the house.
You’re the one that’s driving bub!
He grabs the directions, says he’ll be in
charge his damn self from now on.
So we get our bearings, turn around, backtrack.
You need to pay attention now. We will be
making a right turn onto Maple Street in a
quarter of a mile.
2 miles later:
We’re you looking? Did we pass it? You weren’t
paying attention, where you?
Of course I was! There was no Maple Street.
Oh for Pete’s sake! Google sucks! Next time
use Yahoo maps, will ya?
After a few more miles, we turn around. I am
able to convince him to admit defeat and stop
at the Dunkin Donuts to ask directions. The
people running the place don’t understand
much English. I decide I could use another
cup of coffee. They seem to understand “cream
and sugar” perfectly, but directions…forget it!
We find someone in the parking lot.
Hey, you know how to get to Maple Street?
Never heard of it
Partner comes up with a good idea.
Hey, look at the reverse directions, that might
help.
Ut oh…I forgot to print out the reverse directions.
What the hell do you mean you forgot? You mean
to tell me we have to go through this crap on the
way home too?
Somehow we manage to find our way to the show.
Never did find Maple Street, but by God, we got
to where we were going, albeit 30 minutes late.
We even managed to find our way home too!
My next investment will be in a GPS system.
Theresa
Angels, Poetry, Angel Pins, Custom Poetry
4 comments:
That's like every trip we go on! :) Except hubby uses his GPS (worthless piece of junk) & we still manage to get lost!
OH NO! GPS is worthless? My only hope, now down the drain. LOL.
Theresa
I'm from California--but I had several business trips to New Jersey a year ago. My co-workers who also went had GPS, and they got lost as much as I did. Roads are a lot better marked out here than they are in Jersey.
(And you've never lived until you've been lost in a town called "Cheesequake".)
Also, in New Jersey they have all those "Jug Handles"--where you have to take a right-turn exit prior to the intersection if you want to turn left--that we Californians never seem to get used to. And it appears that the GPS devices tend not to handle them very well, either. I suspect that's because they're made by Californians....
That sounds like quite a stressful drive (but was quite funny to us)
Thank you for the laughs ^_^
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